Parents and their children will never be what the other wants because humans are far from being perfect. The conflict between parents and children are inevitable, but words and actions usually display the love children have for them. Joyce Carol Oates’ “Where are you Going, where have you been” and Seamus Heaney’s “Digging” are two examples that display the complicated relationship children have with their parents. These stories also represent the fluctuating feelings children have regarding their parents. The similarities and differences in the short story and poem have the same message; however, they have differences.
The theme in “Where are you Going, where have you been” and “Digging” both has the same message. Even though children may
…show more content…
Connie was a rebellious teenager wanting to escape her parents; whereas, Heaney was rebelling because he did not want to live the life of his father and grandfather. Oates, talking about Connie leaving home to go out with friends, says, “Sometimes they went across the highway … where older kids hung out” (507), showing Connie’s rebellious behavior. Connie’s parents would not let her go to a restaurant where the older kids congregated, which is why she is a rebel. Connie was a rebel, like many of the teenagers during her lifetime. The time of social change was in the atmosphere and generations were at a crossroads between traditional values and new values. Connie was a hedonistic rebel because she did things that felt good, like going out with older boys. Heaney was also a rebel because he wanted to become a writer, which was against his father’s intentions. Heaney, displaying his rebelliousness, says, “But I’ve no spade to follow men like them” (line 28, 887), presenting his dispassion for potato farming. Heaney respected and recognized his father's displeasure with his life decision; however, Heaney knew he wanted to work with the pen and not the shovel, breaking away from his family tradition. There are an ample number of fathers that want their children to follow their footsteps, and when children do not follow their father’s footsteps they become displeased with the …show more content…
The main difference between Connie and Heaney is that Connie did not have respect for her family until Arnold Friend confronted them with the threat of death; whereas, Heaney showed consistent respect and love throughout the poem. Connie shows consistent resentment towards her parents because she felt that they did not love her. Oates, talking about Connie’s mother describing her, says, “Connie couldn’t do a thing” (506), talking about how Connie is incomparable to her sister June. When children feel like they are a disappointment they have no desire to please their parents, which is what Connie did. She would go out and meet with friends in places a young teenager should not be. Connie’s father was neglectful towards Connie because he would not spend time with her. Oates, describing the actions of her father, says, “Their father was away at work most of the time and when he came home he wanted supper and he read the newspaper at supper and … went to bed” (506). The laxity of her parents caused her to rebel and it drove her to make bad decisions. Heaney has the polar opposite view of Connie. Unlike Connie, Heaney revealed his sincere respect for his father by saying, “The old man could handle a spade” (Line 15, 887). The fundamental difference between Heaney’s poem and Oates’ short story is that respect for the parents differ from one another. Connie
He is even more afraid of losing his father’s trust after Abner hits him “hard but with out heat”(280) not for telling the truth, but for wanting to. Sarty is conscious of the fact that if Abner knew his desire for “truth, justice, he would have hit”(280) him again and that Abner’s recommendation that he “learn to stick to” his “own blood or you ain’t going to have any blood to stick to you”(280) is more of a threat rather than fatherly advice. Sarty learns to stifle any qualms he has and overlook his own developing morals in order to defend his father’s cold-blooded attacks. In the face of Abner’s “outrage and savagery and lust”(286) and the ever-present conflict these emotional outbursts cause, Sarty’s sense of obligation to his father out weighs his desire to “run on and on and never look back”(286). He hopes being forced out of town will transform the side of Abner that possesses an “inherent [ly] voracious prodigality with material not his own”(279) and he will be satisfied once and for all. As father and son walk within sight of an impressive manor “big as a courthouse”(280) owned by Major de Spain, a wealthy landowner with whom Abner has struck a deal to farm corn on his land, Sarty knows at once that “they are safe from him”(280). His father’s “ravening”(281) envy could not possibly touch these “people whose lives are part of this peace and dignity”(281). But, Abner is seething with “jealous rage”(281) at the sight of the de Spain
Not only do these poems share differences through the speakers childhood, but also through the tones of the works.
The beginning of the short story enlightens the reader into the relationship that Connie has with her mother. Connie’s mother does not agree with her admiration for herself. This is due to Connie’s mother’s own insecurities. Oates writes, “Her mother had been pretty once too, if you could believe those old snapshots in the album, but now her looks were gone and that was why she was always after Connie” (Oates 3043). Connie was aware that her mother was jealous of the way she looked and envied her young adolescence. Her mother was nagging her daily and constantly comparing her to her sister. The constant comparison and nagging left Connie to deal with internally judging herself. Oates expresses Connie’s strong unhappiness with her mother by stating “…but around his bent head Connie’s mother kept picking at her until Connie wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over” (3043). Connie’s frustration with her mother lies deep within her internal judgments. She repeatedly obsesses over her mother’s words and desires attention from older males. Even though she does not feel as if she fits in with her sister June, there are some characteristics that she likes about her sister. One of these characteristics is that June is older. Since June is older, Connie is allowed to go out when her sister does which allows her to embrace her rebellious adolescence. She wishes she was older and battles with her internal misconception of her age. In the story, Connie is at an age where she is experimenting with her surroundings. Young girls are regularly comparing themselves to their friends and their elders. The obsession of comparison leaves Connie continuously striving to be better and to increase her attractiveness. Her misconceptions suggest to her that she needs to be more sexual. Her varying internal conflicts leave her with a void that she tries to fill otherwise.
In this essay I will be comparing “She,” by Matthew Brooks Treacy and the relationship with his mother to my relationship with my father, and the lessons taught through experiences that occurred. My father taught the concept of moral obligation, in a similar fashion to Traecy’s mother teaching him to use his hands, through errands, that influenced my decision to make ethical decisions throughout my life.
There is joy when Dee visits her family however when Dee become selfish again Mama eventually puts her foot down after countless assertions that she has the right to take things without asking. Mama finally stands up to her daughter, causing Dee to storm off angry and leaving town again. However Mama couldn’t feel any more proud of her for standing up to her daughter. Connie finds herself separated from her family, going out with friends and sneaking away into trouble or staying at home when the family goes somewhere. Later realized she does need them and learned she should appreciate her family only when it was too late. At that moment of the story when she yells for her mother, she wants to embrace them and regrets pushing them
If not thought about or read over more than once, the fact that Connie’s father was almost a phantom in her life might be missed. In this era, fathers in particular were not very active in their children’s lives, daughters especially; they were the mother’s problem. This same idea carries over to the father of Connie’s best girlfriend, who after driving them to the stores or movies “…never even bothered to ask what they had done.” (Oates, "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"), the name of the story is also a question that should be asked of any daughter by her father. The fathers in question here display a sense of total apathy to the question of what their daughters are actually doing. These fathers came from a time in the 40’s and 50’s when men worried about men things and woman issues were exactly that. Men and in particular fathers of that time made no effort to be involved in their daughters lives as they are today. Oates noticed that issue in society and attached it to her work in this story although minutely. The main conflict in Connie’s life is trying to balance a fine line between the way she acts at home in front of her mother, and her secret wild side which she only shows to her friends and the boys she meets. Oates’ characterization of Connie is that of a round character, one of intense
Joyce Carols Oates highlights the importance of developing relationships in families. Connie’s future could’ve had a completely different outcome if she would’ve been raised with attention, love, and communication. Arnold would’ve never had the opportunity to manipulate her if she had her family’s protection; however, that was not the case. Connie’s family must live with a guilty conscience knowing that her kidnapping could’ve been avoided if only they were less neglectful towards
In her sorrow for the behavior of her daughter Connie, the mother often expresses a bit more appreciation and consideration for the older sister June. She declares somewhere in the story, ‘’Why don’t you keep your room clean like your sister? How’ve you got your hair fixed-what the hell stinks? Hair spray? You don’t see your sister using that junk’’ (Henderson ). It is well-known that anything in excess is harmful, but Connie does not seem to have been aware of this. Connie’s behavior, far away from doing good to her, exposes her to her sexual predator as an easy prey.
To say the least, the future in the story does not look good for Connie, but readers are lead to believe that Connie’s mother and sister will remain safe with each other and Connie’s father. However, with Connie gone, the family still suffers her loss even though no one in Connie’s family was at fault; the family has not contributed or even known of any of the behavior that leads to Connie’s misfortune. This is an extended metaphor for how the new lifestyle of women not only leads to their own demise but also causes the rest of society to suffer the consequences of philandering women. The story does not show a definite negative ending; it is possible for Connie to be saved, just as it is possible for society to be saved and be happy as a
I, Scene III), he was excited for what the witches have told him about the future which made it easier for him to be manipulated. In Where Are You Going and Where Have You Been, Connie's life wasn’t exactly perfect either, “ Connie's mother kept picking at her until Connie wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over” (Pg 1, Paragraph 3) this shows how the broken relationship Connie has with her mother pushes her to the point of having suicidal thoughts. Since she has to go through all this it’s no lie that she wants to escape the reality of her horrid life and fall under Arnolds
Her naivety is clear in the beginning of the story when she runs off with the older boy from the drive in, Eddie. Stuck in the middle of being treated like an adult, but still having the restrictions of being a kid, Connie strives for adult experiences. She associates maturity with looks and boys, which is why she decides to explore her sexuality with him. When in fact, it is this desire to be older that makes her naive. She is unknowing of the price that comes with adulthood.
He urges her to leave with him in a threatening manner and at that point, Connie persistently resists until she realized that it wasn’t about herself anymore, it was about protecting her family. And so, Connie got up off of the kitchen floor, listened to Arnold Friend’s voice, and went with him, not knowing where she’d end up. By applying Sigmund Freud’s “interpretation of dreams” theory to Connie’s life, it is evident that Connie is grappling with issues of guilt and shame as a result of her promiscuous nights out, feeding her sexual
He learned a great deal about her, presumably from following, eavesdropping, and talking to people who knew her. When he was sure she was home alone, he paid her a visit and managed to smooth talk her into going for a ride with him. The story ends there; Oates does not elaborate on what happened to Connie. However, knowing the real life story on which Oates based this character,
Both of the narrators' points of view in each story create a looming tension with their own parents
Connie plans to have the child with Mellors but to say Clifford that she had an affair in Venice with another man. She goes to the coal-mining village of Uthwaite and sees a landscape corrupted by the mines and men dehumanized by the work. When she returns, she talks with Mrs. Bolton about her dead husband who was killed in a mining accident. Mrs. Bolton tells about her feelings since he has dead and for the way that she still thinks one day he will come back again. “That’s it, my Lady, the touch of him! I’ve never got over it to this day, and never shall. And if there’s a heaven above, he’ll be there, and will lie up against me so I can sleep.” (Lawrence,1928, p.197). After lunch, Connie went to the wood to see Mellors. She went at the hut and started talking with him. The class difference between them makes Mellors seems uncomfortable and he is in a bad mood. Connie tells him that she plans to have a