Conflicting Styles of Parenting Parents will treat their children the way they see fit. In the authoritarian parenting style, there is no room for freedom. In permissive parenting, there can be more freedom than the children know what to do with. Authoritative parenting combines the gist of both of the other styles and allows both freedom and structure. Both authoritarian and permissive styles have components that authoritarian parents see as productive methods if used properly. Many people associate authoritarian parenting with Asians. They often produce the people considered to be the smartest in our society. But authoritarians do not always produce children who are the best at something. Often times they are strict and shelter their …show more content…
Although this is an honorable reason, the way in which it is carried out is questionable. There are ways to have structure, but also show love at the same time. In many Asian cultures around the world success is not an option; it is a requirement. According to one Asian mother, Amy Chua, “Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything” (221). They do not expect their children to pay them back for every cent they put into their educations or activities, but they see their accomplishments as their payback. She says, “Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making the, proud” (Chua 221). These parents demand success because that is their way of feeling successful in their own field of study- children. Authoritarian parents want what is best for their children and they believe strict rules and harsh consequences is the way to accomplish it. My father grew up with permissive parents. They were not necessarily carefree, but they did not provide the structure and authority that is needed in a household. When asking my dad about his childhood, he reminisces on many fun and reckless activities that he did with the neighborhood children. Some of these activities include feeding Alka-Seltzer tablets to seagulls and watch them blow up in the air. He was frequently sent to the principal’s office and paddled because of his terrible behavior in school.
In the article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” the author Amy Chua believes that by not allowing their kids to do a lot of things that normal children can do, Chinese mothers produce the smartest children. Some of the things they don’t allow their children to do are attend sleepovers, be in a school play, get a grade less than an A, and choose their own extracurricular activities. Chinese mothers are not superior but abusive because their methods seem to seclude them from learning the communication skills needed for success in their child's adulthood, it can hinder the relationship they have with their children, and can sometimes lead their children to develop thoughts of suicide.
Parenting styles differ from generations, as well as, from different countries across the world. When two different cultures collide, that leaves parents in a limbo in trying to decide what parenting technique would be the most beneficial for future offspring. Amy Chua, a Yale Law School graduate of Chinese descent, wrote a story about the details of her and her husbands’ choice in how to parent their children. The book is entitled “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” which she proclaims that “Chinese parents are better at raising children than westerners”. At creation of this book, Chua has received an enormous amount of feedback, mostly negative. However, the article “Amy Chua is a Wimp” written by author David Brooks, offers a different take on Chuas’ book. Which leaves everyone wondering what really is the best way to set up the next generation to reach their highest potential.
So if the strict Chinese parenting style hurts kid's mental health, what provides the best alternative? Many would argue that the authoritative parents style works the most effectively in almost every situation. Brenda Scottsdale stated that children reared under warm, nurturing parents have much higher self esteem, independence, and brain development than children brought up by authoritarian parents. (everydaylife.globalpost.com) Because authoritative parents give a perfect blend of standards and warmth, they provide their children with goals and encouragement, and the ability to learn on their own.
In “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” Chua explains why Chinese mothers are superior to Western mothers due to the way they raise their children. When she refers to “Chinese” mothers, she is also including Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents too. Chua also uses the term “Western” parents, which includes parents in all varieties. In Amy Chua’s perspective, she sees that the most promising way to have successful kids is by being strict. Some examples of what Chinese mothers don’t allow their kids to do are; “attend a sleepover, have a play date, get any grade less than an A, watch TV or play on the computer, play any instrument other than the piano and violin, [and the list goes on]” (Chua 53). Chinese mothers are often demanding and extremely stern, but it is for the good of the child. When a child is successful at something, it indicates effective parenting for the parents(s). Most parents want their child to be triumphant in their life, but Chinese mothers know that their child can be “the best” if they will focus hard enough and have the determined parent(s) behind them to help with reaching success. “Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment” (Chua 56). This is why Chua considers Chinese mothers to be superior to Western mothers. In her point of view, Western mothers mostly
There are four parenting styles that affects a child’s development, which are: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved. Out of these four categories, my parents were classified under the authoritarian style of parenting. Although my parents showed their affection and their support, one of the biggest factors that made them authoritative was the inability to communicate or express any of their thoughts, feelings, or needs. Their dual employment was an issue because there was little involvement during my childhood of being the middle child. However, because they were often under financial stress, there were more criticisms, demands, and punishments for my unwanted behavior without any explanations. They never took the opportunity to explain these type of experiences to help me grow and mature, thus exhibiting the “do it because I said so” attitude. Incoming freshmen year, when I started to explore my surroundings more by driving to distant places and hanging out with different people, their parenting style became more problematic than it ever did. It heightened my behavior to be even more rebellious, defiant, and angry at how they tried to resolve the
Amy Chua, an American lawyer and the author of, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”, she explains the differences between Chinese and Western parenting styles and the outcomes of these two mind-sets. She claims that Chinese parents raise their child with very strict rules so later in life they can be successful. On the flip side, Western parenting styles are more towards on the effect of their child’s feelings so they don’t hurt their self-esteem or confidence. The reason why Chinese children are so intelligent is ultimately because of their parenting style. In Chua’s essay, she gives her own personal stories and examples from her life that reflect on stereotype.
The parenting style used to raise a child is what will alter them as people and help them grow into successful adults. Chinese moms are a decent representation of how the true world is, but it is not healthy to put a child in school through that amount of pressure. A Chinese mom is similar to a bucking bull in the scheme to motivate children. She takes the reigns and hopes for the best for her children. Amy Chua explains in the article Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior how Chinese mothers have respectable intentions for their children, yet it is just an extra strict and severe way of displaying it. In Mother Inferior? By Hannah Rosin, she believes that American or Western mothers do not have the capability of being forceful and demanding as
“Chinese parenting style that often produces stereotypically intelligent and diligent kids has been harshly criticized for being too extreme in administration”(Petten, 2011). Authoritarian parenting is a form of parenting that creates higher expectations for children and uses a negative approach to discipline and punish them. There tends to be more added pressure for the child, but it helps to create more success for them in the long run. The positive aspect to this parenting style in this culture is shaping a child to learn, but also achieve to their highest potential in everything they do. This disciple method is used to create ambition and devotion for them to do well academically. This is a strong trait for any person to obtain, but the
When it come to raising kids people will never know how to do it correctly. The child will still throw tantrums, the teen will still give attitude, and the young adult will insists on going to a 4 year university. All children hit these milestones no matter what kind of parents they have. There are many ways to raise a child. Every person has a way of doing things that they deem right. Looking deeper in the process of raising a child or teen will reveal so much. “...keep in mind that every parent child relationship is different, so there is not one sure fire way to go about parenting.”( Rachel Telles, and Bianca Mgbemere.) Parenting is put into 4 general categories. Authoritarian, permissive, neglectful and authoritative. People fall into these categories, but there are a select few that don't. The two drastically different ones will be compared and contrasted. When it comes to parenting trying to find that happy medium between Authoritarian and permissive is the best possible thing to do for both parent and child.
The most effective style when it comes to parenting is authoritative style. They produce children that are well rounded and can handle whatever life throws at them. They seem to be very outspoken and have good self-esteem. I have seen all four parenting styles first hand. I was raised by an authoritarian parent and her mother was an authoritarian mother. I have eight steps brothers, seven stepsisters and I am the youngest. Five of my brothers ended up in prison. I believe it was because of how we were raised. They always thought people owed them something. Three of them drank themselves to death. My sisters don’t get along. We don’t trust each other. My aunt had this thing about children should be seen and not heard. But with me, she didn’t
The study supports Chua’s assertion that her Asian model of parenting works, while not discouraging the effectiveness of the Western style at the same time. This is because the study explains that the influence of their mothers and their parenting have different effects on the children of Westerners and Asians. The result concluded that thinking about their mothers motivated Asian children to do better, while the same is not true for Western children. This is because of the difference in dependence of the children on their
In Amy Chua’s article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” Chua insists Chinese parenting methods yield better results than Western parenting methods when raising academically prosperous children because Chinese parents are willing to do anything for their children. Chua begins with a detailed account of common activities her children are prohibited from engaging in. To express who she considers a Chinese or Western parent, Chua provides their defining qualities and then utilized statistics to prove that Chinese parents are stricter than Western parents. Chua claimed a child must be good at an activity to enjoy it and therefore, the child must repetitively practice until the task is performed perfectly. Chua points out the Chinese’s’ ability
The second parenting style is Authoritative, Like the authoritarian parent, the authoritative parent sets high expectations. Unlike the authoritarian parent, the authoritative parent is responsive to her child’s needs. These parents are flexible. They listen and give advice. Nevid notes that Baumrind stated that children of authoritative parenting are the most likely of the three styles to have positive outcomes. These children are self-reliant, have high self-esteem and are popular with their peers. Authoritative parents encourage their children to be independent and assertive, while also being respectful of others.
Punishment and Parenting play key roles into ways a child develops into an upcoming adult. In many cases they go hand in hand. For example corporal punishment can be included in two out of the four parenting styles which are authoritarian and authoritative. But what this paper focuses on are the effects of inadequate punishments and their correlation with a certain parenting styles that many mistake as reasonable and justifiable but are really unethical ways of trying to reinforce a goal behavior and may have terrible long term outcomes on the child.
Chinese parents sometimes are too strict with their kids. When they obtain bad scores in school, they abuse and shame them to the point where their self-esteem is very low. As Chua noted, "That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child"(413). By contrast, I do not believe that all the blame should be on child. If a child is studying hard for a test and he gets a B, the first thing that a parents should do is talk to the child and try to help him as much as he can. If you punish him and blame everything on your kid, he is going to be afraid of you and that is going to bring serious issues to him. I do agree that every parent wants the best for their kids, but sometimes incorrect methods can hurt a child more than what he or she can actually learn from