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My Experience In Middle School

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I still get nightmares about my horrid middle school days. Especially seventh and eighth grade, those were the absolute worst. I still have flashbacks of horribly straightened bangs covering my eyes, black versions of my uniform I would dress myself in, and what I now call emo music I would drown myself in. The memory I won’t be able to ever forget however was on September second of my last year of middle school. Throughout that entire year I was a complete mess. I was crying and sobbing over trivial things, playing “Therapy” over and over again, and watching my friends vanish right before my eyes. The people I grew to trust simply threw it back in my face. At that point I felt as though I was worth nothing. September second was death day, and I do mean that literally. I remember being indifferent to the confrontation, apathetic towards my dad’s worried concerns, and being completely numb throughout that entire day. Ironically enough it was one of my acquaintance’s birthday that day, and I spent it trying to murder myself. Wonderful.
In case no one was aware, eighth grade was the year my self-esteem (and I guess my life in general) crashed and burned like Zuko’s honor did when he faced his father in an Agni Kai. The rest of the year was just a blur of me plastering a fake smile on my face. As years went by my thoughts and moods weren’t depressing but, they weren’t happy and dandy either. I just stayed indifferent to it all. In David D. Burns’ Feeling Good: The New Mood

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